I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
