have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
