This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
