I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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