I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
