its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
