is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
