idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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