This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
