are you still at the devil's house?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
