next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
