One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
