Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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