have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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