so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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