We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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