That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
