I will die if light touches me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
