i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
