ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
