So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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