Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
