Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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