2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
