We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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