batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
