Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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