Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
