Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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