once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
