I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
