This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
whose ass print is on the piano?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
