dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
