i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
