what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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