i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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