No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
not ubering you a puppy
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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