After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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