Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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