You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
