so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
