Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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