will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
