You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
