Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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