Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Redeem this text for a blowjob
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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