every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
