dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
