would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
