My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
